Worked up Over Vaccinations

17 weeks

In general the average newborn gets vaccinated at 8 weeks. You didn't. There seems to be more and more evidence building that vaccinations can cause autismn in some children, so naturally your father and I were apprehensive about getting you vaccinated. At the same time though if we don't get you vaccinated there is a chance you could catch a life threatening illness and we'd lose you all together. So I booked an appointment with the Dr. to have your first set of vaccinations.

Since then I haven't been able to rest my mind. I have nightmares people trying to take you from me, stomach aches, head aches and stress over the fact that you might not trust me again if I take you somewhere where I let people hurt you. You're appointment was yesterday, February 24 2010, and I made your father come with me to basically hold my hand. But you were happy and silly the whole time even when the nurses jabbed you with the needle, you mearly looked at them with slight distaste, made a sound of surprise, and then turned over to look at your daddy who made a silly face and you giggled.

That was it! All my stress and you giggled!

Of course later that night was a whole other story. It took me over an hour to get you to sleep. You cried and kicked, punched and fussed until finally you collapsed into a shallow slumber. And of course the olympics are going on right now and your father happened to be watching Russia and Canada battle it out on the hockey rink and shouted in excitement over Canada's goal, waking you up and angering me! It was touch and go after that. You woke up every hour needing to be held. So I didn't get a lot of sleep and either did you. I should be napping with you right now but I had to write this down.

You are becoming increasingly aware of your surroundings. I often think about how different you are. There was a point when suddenly you were not a baby to me any more. I can't quite pin it down but one day you were completely helpless and limp and then suddenly there was intelligence behind your eyes and I knew you were not a baby, you were a little boy learning how to use his body. To everyone else you're still a baby but I know better.

You grab onto things now and bring them to your face. You seem to like things that are soft or fluffy and you rub them against your cheeks. Everything else has the potential to be put in your mouth. You love shoving your blankets in your mouth, which is funny because my mother said I used to do the same thing when I was your age. You love to be wrapped up tight with your blanket high up to your face so you can snuggle in and fall asleep. But you're a little bit lazy. You have no interest in learning how to use your legs. Your father is a little concerned about that but I keep reassuring him that you will when you are ready. YOu're cousin Ryleigh has been standing practlcally on her own since she was 4 months so she is going to be dancing circles around you by the time summer comes. I think then you'll suddenly find the motivation to use your legs.

Time for me to go and get some sleep.

Love you.