A year passed swiftly by. My 30th birthday was rapidly creeping up on us. I was thrilled to be turing 30. Which was just as much a surprise to me as it was to everyone else I would excitedly announce it to. It was a new decade. A new beginning. I was happy, I was in love, and I looked fantastic! Not to mention the man I was in love with was extremely sexy and considerably younger then me. What was there not to be excited about? So with everything being so grand what was there to worry about right?

Well... with being in love with a younger man there is always an underlying fear that eats away at your confidence that one day he might wake up and find he was too young to be in a serious relationship. And so shortly after my birthday I sat your father down to have a much needed and serious discussion about the future. I explained to him that in the next two years I wanted to be married and start a family. I explained to him that the older I got the more I yearned for that future. However it was all too obvious that that may not be the what he wanted at all. He was of course 7 years my junior and time was on his side. But for me time was passing far too quickly. I told him that I understood that may not be what he had in mind for his near future and if it was not then we should part and go our separate ways. Sadly it was not something I was willing to give up and I knew that if I could not accomplish that future with him I would undoubtedly become very unhappy and in turn make him miserable as well.

I secretly enjoyed watching him squirm with discomfort due to the topic of conversation. His reaction... "WHAT? Two years!?" followed by a nervous high pitched laugh. "Are you serious?" Deep down inside I knew that despite the fact that he hadn't considered marriage let alone a family in a mere two years that he was strong enough to handle it. And yet I was still anxious for his reaction. What if he bailed? What if he was better off with some pretty young stranger who had no major expectations for the next 5 years? I would have to start over. Again. The very thought of carrying on with life with out him at my side tugged at that soft spot in my stomach that I so dreaded. At the end of our very tense conversation he smiled, told me he understood how I felt and much to my delight he stayed.


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