Did I Say That Out Loud?

One cold winters night after one of our many long conversations I fell asleep beside your father. While drifting off into a deep slumber I mumbled the words "I love you." Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! My own words had startled me awake and I cringed at the thought that he may have heard them. Hoping he had also drifted to sleep and not heard my confession I waited, barely breathing, in silence pretending to still be asleep. Much to my embarrassment I realized he was awake as he shifted his weight back and forth in his spot. Too afraid to move I eventually drifted off to sleep again. But he later told me that that was when he realized he loved me too. From that day forth we were inseparable. He was always so good to me back then. He would pick me up from work and have a warm plate of food waiting for me on my seat. He would wash my laundry for me although when he mixed my whites with the darks and discoloured my favourite shirts, I'd have a mild seizure. I came home from work one day and he had repainted my entire apartment for me. I adored him completely.

I've been in love once before I met your father but never have I ever loved someone so completely that I could change all the negative things about me in order to be a better person for him. Don't kid yourself though. Change is
brutally tedious and I'm certain I aged 2 years just from the stress of trying. I had to learn how to say things like "you might be right", " I don't know", and "please". I may have also given myself an ulcer trying to smile and be tolerable in the mornings. I've never been much of a morning person, but I love your father that much.


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