Only Rich People Own Bidets

Apr. 1, 2009

What a glorious day! It was sunny and warm! I left work early to go to my very first prenatal appointment with Kristin my midwife. I completely spazed out and got on the wrong bus which took me in the exact opposite direction of where I was meaning to go. But no worries, I got off and decided to walk in the sun. I arrived at my appointment with 30 minutes to spare! Kristin seemed happy to see me, as I was her. We've known each other since we were in Kindergarten. I used to be amazed by her parents bathroom. It was enormous, plus it had a bidet. So of course I assumed she must be rich. Only rich people bought bum washers. I could have been wrong but no one has disproved that theory since.

She took some blood for testing from me and I didn't pass out! The last time I gave blood I was 16 years old and I fainted in the Dr.'s office, hence forth I was deemed a fainter and NO ONE ever took my blood again. Which of course was not a major issue for me. And guess what!? I heard your heart beat! Kristin put a kind of microphone up to my belly that is attached to a speaker, called a Doppler. Your little heart was beating so fast. It was so exciting. Your father was a little jealous when I told him. So he's coming to my next appointment.


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