I Need an Exterminator

Here it comes. It's been slowly creeping up behind me like a shadow you see in the corner of your eyes but when you turn around to get a better look at what it was there is nothing there. Was your mind playing tricks on you or did it just jump slightly out of your view range tricking you into believing that maybe you were just seeing things? And it's been following you around for quite some time now. You're getting better at catching it while it tries to sneak around but it still manages to evade you until one day when you were distracted and happy it jumps out at you, seemingly from no where, and rather then screaming and tossing your arms up in surprise you scowl at it fiercely and say "YOU **$(%&@(@#!+!! I knew you were coming!" Then you spit in it's general direction as it laughingly embraces you until you are smothered in shadow.

What the heck am I talking about?! I'm talking about being 34 weeks pregnant! I'm talking about a fairly large human hanging out in my uterus! Who is NOT light. Who is quite heavy. And the ONLY thing keeping it up is my stomach muscles and my cervix! Which may I add, is quite tiring. I'm talking about the scars that have emerged between my legs from my thighs rubbing once too many times. I'm talking about the heart burn, the not being able to breath, the acid reflux that hurts so bad I puke, the not being able to sleep, or get off the couch or walk for any longer then 5 minutes. I'm talking about the butterflies and roses that were my pregnancy being taken over by weeds and slugs.

Woo! Glad I got that off of my chest. I feel better now. How about you?


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