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A Poppy in The Garden



When I found out about your existence I was 5 weeks pregnant and you were the size of a Poppy seed, which is very, very small. So I nick named you Poppy. I like it. And oddly enough Poppy's just happen to be my favourite flower. So I think it suiting that you are now my Poppy.

I'm now 6 weeks pregnant with you and you're now the size of a small bean. But I still can't really feel you. I thought that I would. I swore up and down that I would always know when I was pregnant. I would just be able to feel your existence. That theory proved to be disturbingly inaccurate! Seeing as I was positive that there was no way I could be pregnant. Even now that I am aware of your presence I hardly feel anything. Except every time I think to myself, I don't feel pregnant, are you still there? I get a definite pressure in my abdomen that is beyond ignorable. Like right now. Just as I wrote that, I felt it.

Part of me thinks that you can feel my thoughts. Thoughts are after all just bursts of energy from your brain. You have a brain now, and all the tools you need to make thought after all. I know you can feel them. I'm constantly wishing you happiness. However, Alicia tells me that you don't know language so therefore you can not have thought. I don't believe that for a second. You don't need words or sight to think. Thoughts can be pictures or feelings. You and I are connected and I believe with all my heart that you can feel my thoughts. God I love you. I love you so much all ready. I love you so much that just thinking about it makes me tear up and start to cry. Silly isn't it? How is that possible? You are literally the size of a pea and I've never even met you. Imagine how much I will love you when I can actually hold you in my arms and kiss your soft little cheeks? I can tell this is going to be the start of a very beautiful friendship.

2 comments:

Future Mama said...

So beautiful! Aww, I hope I can feel right away and know I'm pregnant, but probably won't happen I guess. I like the new nickname!

Kiki said...

Who knows! You might know right away. I was just one of the "lucky" ones who had NO pregnancy symptoms what so ever. Well except for the bloating and lack of sleep. ;)

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